Value Statements in a Dating Relationship

The person you’re dating will value you to the same extent that you value yourself.

It is important to set up value statements for your life. What is the statement that your life makes about how you value yourself?

This manifests in the form of care of mind, body and spirit as well as how we allow someone to treat us. It comes in the form of honorable communication when someone treats us in a way that does not fit with the value statements we’ve made for our life.

Staying true to oneself in a dating relationship is incredibly important and something that many struggle with. Not losing who we are in a relationship signals health and wholeness. Many will change or let go of authentic pieces of who they are to keep the person they’re dating happy. This does not promote longevity in the relationship. The full expression of who you are will attract a good match.

Marriage relationships are about love and selflessness, but they are not about losing yourself! That’s a big problem many face in marriage. Keep your unique traits and blend them with another unique person. Stay true to your value statements and your significant other will value you deeply.

Signs that you’re losing yourself in a dating relationship:

  1. You ask, ‘How can I keep this person happy so they stay interested?’
  2. Never expressing areas that make you feel uncomfortable in the relationship.
  3. Being willing to compromise core values statements that you’ve established in your life such as no sex before marriage or standards of purity.
  4. Agreeing to situations that go against your gut feeling or peace.
  5. Adjusting more for the other person than they are willing to adjust for you.

Signs of a healthy dating relationship:

  1. You ask, ‘How can I value myself and my significant other in the greatest way possible?
  2. Finding ways can I express my respect and care for another person that fully allows me to be true to myself.
  3. Expressing and communicating about areas that make me feel uncomfortable in the relationship.
  4. Both parties respecting the other person’s core value statements.
  5. Following your peace.
  6. Both parties feeling free to be themselves.

Taking time to establish core values about life and self set us up to be able to make good decisions in the future. These are decisions that won’t compromise who we are or what we believe to be important in moments that challenge just that. When we enter situations without these rudders in our lives, we make all kinds of silly mistakes.

So, what are your current value statements when it comes to relationships? Thinking through this before and during a relationship will set you up to be treated in a way that is honoring and expresses value. You will in turn place value on your partner because you value yourself. It works both ways!

Wendee Mannon, CEO OnDaySix.com

Litasha & Evan’s Marriage Testimony

My husband and I met at OnDaySix.com and we couldn’t be happier!

Here is our detailed LOVE story:

Evan & Litasha almost crossed paths in 2011 when Litasha visited the Bethel School of Ministry in Redding, California while she was on her US tour with Redeem the Shadows speaking to churches about human trafficking. It just so happened that Evan was attending this very same school in 2011, but he was not in class that week as he was on a mission trip in Honduras.

While she was visiting Bethel, she unknowingly met several of Evan’s friends. After leaving the school, she asked the Lord to connect her with a man that had gone through BSSM.

Fast forward to 2014, Litasha came across Evan’s profile while she was searching for people in Florida. She read through his profile and really liked the spiritual commonalities they shared and his love of Nutella. She also saw that in one of his profile photos he was with his friend Quillan whom she had met during her visit to Bethel. Litasha sent Evan a wink through the dating site on August 26 and a week later he sent her a message because he was also very interested after seeing and reading her profile.

Litasha decided to subscribe at this point; you could say it’s the best $15 Litasha ever spent. Evan and Litasha began to exchange e-mails for two weeks and then Evan sent Litasha his number and asked for her number so the two could speak on the phone.

Our two lovebirds had their first phone conversation on October 23rd and the conversation lasted over 2 hours as they spoke realizing how many things in common they had shared in life.

These 2 and a half hours flew by with ease as they laughed and grew in fondness for each other. Litasha even wore out holes in her socks from walking outside while talking on the phone to Evan.

Litasha had prayed that Evan would want to meet her in person and go out on a date.
God answered her prayer and Evan asked if she would like to go out for a date to further get to know each other. The two were ecstatic that a date was set for the chance to meet in person.

The very next weekend of November 1st Evan drove 3 hours across Florida to meet the lovely Litasha for a whole weekend of fun dates. When Evan pulled into the driveway he was warmly greeted by Mrs. Davis in her gardening gear. She gave him a hug and Litasha walked out of the front door and said, “Hey I’m supposed to hug him first”. Evan was lost for words to describe Litasha and her joyful glow. Litasha thought oooh he is even more handsome than his pictures.

The two hopped into the car to begin their adventure in the downtown Stuart Florida. The date lasted for 11 hours and continued the next day at the Stuart air show with Litasha’s family.

While at the airshow Mr. Davis coined our favorite phrase, “How Peculiar” when he noticed that we had very similar sunglasses. And the two have been very peculiar ever since then as they have noted the numerous commonalities they share.

Mrs. Davis told Litasha that she and Mr. Davis thought that Evan was the one after the end of the first date weekend. Litasha replied happily saying, “me too”!

The following weekend Evan invited Litasha to be his wedding date at a very close family friend’s wedding. Before the wedding, Litasha was able to meet Evan’s parents who flew down from North Carolina for the wedding in Fort Lauderdale Florida. They went to Outback to have lunch before the wedding and to meet the lady who Evan couldn’t stop talking about. His parents had to see if Litasha liked Evan as much as he liked her. It was a wonderful lunch and Evan’s parents definitely approved saying things like she is adorable and filled with joy.
After lunch Evan and Litasha headed to the wedding.
Litasha’s prayer request earlier that morning was that Evan would make his intentions known to her. Later that evening of November 9th Litasha’s prayer request was answered. Evan asked her to be his girlfriend while the two were standing outside under the stars on the sky deck atop the ballroom tower of the Hyatt Regency. They both were thrilled and gave each other joyful hugs and danced the night away at the wedding.

One week after the wedding, Litasha and her parents drove to Ft. Myers to spend the weekend with Evan and his parents who were still visiting. The whole weekend was filled with fun adventures but the greatest moment happened when their families were all taking a walk on the beach. Litasha thought “this would be the perfect spot for a first kiss, but our parents are here.” Evan saw that both sets of parents were walking ahead of them and he too had the exact same thought, “this is the perfect spot for a first kiss.” He bravely took Litasha’s hand and pulled her towards himself and said “come here you” and sweetly gave her their first kiss. Litasha was so happy that her thought had just came true!

As Thanksgiving weekend approached Evan had already booked flights to spend the holidays with his friends in Washington State so the two had to wait 3 weeks before they saw each other again.

During these 3 weeks, their fondness for each other grew in leaps and bounds as they shared their adventures over phone calls and Skype.

Evan had returned from his Thanksgiving trip by the weekend of December 5th so Litasha went to visit Evan in Fort Myers for a wonderful date weekend. After they had prepared dinner, the two were talking when out of Litasha’s mouth spilled the words “I love…love…like you.” Litasha had been thinking in her heart that she loved him but was only going to say she liked him but her heart had taken over her lips. Before Litasha could process what had come out of her mouth, Evan while holding her hands said, “I love you too Litasha.” This opened Litasha up to share all her feelings and while she was looking into his eyes her heart once again took over her lips and she said “So you want to marry me? “She had meant to say, “So you see this leading toward marriage?”

Evan replied immediately with a huge smile saying, “yes, I do.” Then he followed up his response by saying, “shouldn’t you ask my father for my hand in marriage first?” The two were blushing and giggling as they talked the night away freely sharing their feelings for each other.

Every weekend after this, Evan or Litasha would drive 3 hours to visit each other in either Ft. Myers or in Stuart.
As the Christmas holidays approached Evan was in Stuart one weekend accompanying Litasha to a Christmas party and a wedding. During that weekend Litasha unfortunately came down with the flu after the festivities, but she was able to see how Evan took care of her so well!

Evan had to head back home to Fort Myers to work a couple days before Christmas but he returned and surprised Litasha a day early on December 23rd. What Litasha didn’t know is that he had come into town earlier that day to take her parents out to dinner at Sailors Return and ask them permission for her hand in marriage. Her parents happily said yes and Evan began planning the proposal.

On January 10, 2015 Evan took Litasha to her favorite beach spot called the House of Refuge around 3:00 pm. As they were walking down the beach, Litasha saw paper lantern bags along the beach ahead making an aisle to a beautiful heart design. Evan said, “Looks like someone set up for the sunset”. Then Litasha spotted her photography partner Heather with her camera. This is when Litasha turned to Evan and said, “Babe, what are they doing here”? Evan smiled and led Litasha down the aisle he had set up for her and there he declared his love for her with many beautiful words. Then he got down on one knee and said, “Litasha, will you marry me”. Litasha said, “Yes” and he slipped the ring onto her finger and they kissed excitedly!

Their love story continues to grow deeper and deeper every day since their marriage on July 11, 2015.

Preparing for Marriage in the Pressure Cooker of Life

One thing that I’ve learned increasingly over the past 5 years of marriage and then adding children to the mix is that the way that I deal with pressure in my life is beyond important. I actually never thought about it when I was single, but now I’m realizing that a huge piece in preparing for a successful marriage or keeping one if you’re married is how you handle pressure (a.k.a. stress).

Fact: Marriage produces pressure.

I knew I wanted to be married SO bad. I’m so glad I am. It is the best. My husband truly is my best friend. He was just gone for 2 weeks on a ministry trip and I thought I just might die. I did live, but I missed him terribly, almost like part of me was missing. It’s the longest we’ve ever been apart and he was in another country with very little access to internet to be able to communicate, and his phone died halfway through the trip. Anyways, I lived. I always talk about how a single person is a complete person. They are. I don’t believe you’re missing your other half when you’re single. I believe you are complete in God, but when you choose marriage and make a vow, pledge to choose each other and legally bind yourself to another person until death, the Bible says that the ‘two become one flesh’ and it’s a ‘mystery’. So, if you decide to stay single, you’re complete and if you decide to get married, you’re complete. Clear as mud? I know, that’s why it’s a mystery.

Ok, back to marriage producing pressure. Two people living in one house, combining finances, communication styles, their ‘normals’ from each of their own upbringings and experiences combined with the ups and downs of life = pressure. You don’t know what’s headed your way. There’s no escape from the pressure cooker of life.

My husband and I in a little less than 5 years of marriage have walked through extreme highs and lows. We’ve moved 7 times, which included once to an entirely different city 3 hours away and once halfway across the country. We bought a house and moved into it 2 weeks after I had our daughter. I do not recommend doing that. Because, moving. These are pressure cooker situations.

We’ve also walked through my husband being unemployed (by choice) to follow a dream while I was pregnant with our first child, him working part-time during my second pregnancy to him now being employed full time. There’s something in a man where it’s just better for them to be working and putting their hand to something, especially something that they are passionate about. These are pressure cooker situations.

We’ve also had two children. Our son Jackson (he’d be 2 1/2) is now in heaven and our daughter Jazmyn is turning 1 this week. We lost a child. It was the absolute hardest thing I could have ever imagined. There really are no words.

Our second daughter is the best gift we’ve ever been given in our marriage. She’s brought more joy than I even thought was possible to our lives. But, she has added pressure. Time is not the same. I don’t know where it went, but it seems that now I don’t have any extra of it or enough to do what I need to do. I used to basically do whatever I wanted most the time. I am a working mom now. Now I work during her naps and clean the house while I sing songs to her. Thankfully she thinks it’s fun to watch me vacuum. I think that’s God’s grace because I love a clean house. These are pressure cooker situations.

Then there’s combining finances. Two people who spend differently and then are learning how to make decisions together. We’ve made some really good financial decisions in our marriage and some really bad ones. These are pressure cooker situations.

What comes out of us in pressure cooker situations? We all have them. Marriage has had many more highs than lows, but I’ve been really focused lately on how I handle the lows and the pressure because this truly can make or break a marriage. How do I speak to my husband or my daughter when the pressure’s on? Do I turn to God first? Are the words that come out of my mouth kind or unkind? Here’s 5 ways I’ve found that help me in my relationships when I’m in the pressure cooker of life:

1)Receiving the grace for today from God. I’m a visionary, so I plan for the future and dream about it. Sometimes looking at the future and my calendar can cause stress because it’s so full. I need to recognize that there is grace for today and receive that grace and not try to get the grace for future happenings before they are here. I will pull on that in those moments.

2)Prioritizing the value of relationships in my life. When it’s all said and done, the things that will matter the most are the relationships I have and not the tasks I’ve completed or not completed or the pressure of the moment. If I value relationships to the utmost, starting with my relationship with God, and then those in my closest circles on out, I’ll find myself responding out of that belief system which will produce kindness  and patience.

3) Keeping my mouth shut when I’m under extreme pressure. Enough said.

4) Taking care of myself. If I’m on empty, I’ll respond poorly. I have certain ways that I recharge and I do those things almost daily, so that I can make sure I’m my best self and will be able to respond in the best way possible to situations. One of the main ones is making sure my connection with the Lord is flowing. I kind of just have a running conversation going with Him daily, so it helps me keep the right perspective and receiving joy and peace from the Holy Spirit in the moments I need them, which is basically all the time.

5) Kindness. It makes a world of difference. Training myself to respond in kindness even when giving feedback to someone or in a stressful situation can change the way people are experiencing me, even when I’m under pressure. Am I scary to people when I’m under pressure or do they know that even though things might be trying right now, I value them and am treating them accordingly.

So, what are some ways that work for you when your own life is in the pressure cooker? I’d love to hear from you, so leave a comment to let me know the ways that work for you in stressful situations like a new job, added responsibility, loss of any kind, a dating relationship, a breakup, conflict, etc…

Wendee Mannon
CEO, OnDaySix

The Trusting Stage of Relationships

Happy Woman with Her Boyfriend

Flow of Romantic Relationship Stage 4: Trusting

The past few weeks in our blogs, we’ve walked through the first three stages that most romantic relationships naturally navigate through; Crushing, Questioning & Committing. Today we’re going to explore the fourth stage which is Trusting.

4) Trusting: Allow intimacy and vulnerability to blossom

This is the stage just before engagement. As trust and love grow through vulnerability and intimacy, our natural reaction is to become close in every way to the man or woman we’re in relationship with. Physical boundaries and accountability are really important in this stage as you choose love and open your heart up to each other.

The trusting stage allows hearts to blossom into full blown love and movement towards a lasting commitment. It’s good to note that each person is free to exit the relationship at any time that they feel. Relationship is a choice and we honor each other’s choice for us. We only desire to be with someone that would choose us and would never want to force someone to stay in something they didn’t desire as well.

There were times in the commitment stage that had led to trusting with my now husband that he would be farther along than I was. That was ok. I would explain to him that I was like a flower that blossomed and would only share intimate details about myself when I felt comfortable. It is important to stay true to yourself throughout the relationship and not agree to giving more information or access than the level of commitment garners.

This is a great time to move into some kind of pre-marital counseling. An excellent course to take during this time is “Defining the Relationship” by Danny and Sheri Silk. This will open up levels of vulnerability and communication that needs to happen before making a decision to move towards marriage in the form of engagement. This can have some challenges because it brings up communication barriers and areas that may be unhealthy in the relationship, but it is essential to address many of these before marriage. Communication is key. You can get past almost anything in marriage with good communication skills.

Allow yourself to open and blossom into intimacy with the man or woman you’re committed to. Only open hearts fall in love, not closed ones. Fear causes hearts to close, but love causes hearts to open. Love is such a beautiful thing; it involves deep intimacy and vulnerability. This is also a stage where many choose to end the relationship or take steps back to work on areas of communication or areas that are not at a healthy place to move into marriage.

Please, please, please get counsel during this stage. Press into that; this is the time to do it when you have the ability to gain wisdom and insight from other married couples that have walked through some life together.  Also, sometimes we are blinded in love, so outside input is imperative. A blessing from those that you trust and are getting counsel from is important (parents, mentors, etc).  Don’t negate God’s voice through others during this time, it can be life saving.

 Excerpt is from the book,  ‘Love Unstuck’ by Wendee Mannon

Image courtesy of photostock at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Committing: Defining the Relationship

Flow of Romantic Relationship: Stage 3

Committing: Defining the Relationship

The past few weeks in our blogs, we’ve walked through the first two stages that most romantic relationships naturally navigate through; Crushing & Questioning. Today we’re going to dive into the third stage which is Committing. This is a fun stage because it’s when the relationship goes into the next level of commitment. When enough questions have been answered that lead to a yes, a conversation should be present that secures a level of commitment. This allows trust to grow and for the woman to blossom into even deeper vulnerability along with the man.

When a lot of pressure is put onto a relationship before enough questions about future health or desire for the relationship is made, relationships can easily crumble. Either one or both parties lose interest. Many times it is the man that loses interest because he felt pressure to commit in a way that he didn’t have enough answers to do so for. Romantic relationships are built on trust. Trying to build on something other than this causes them to crumble, which is why the first two stages are so vital.

Pressure to know if something is going to work out right away causes many a relationship to fall apart. Take the pressure off and enjoy the process. The committing stage is where you are officially only dating each other.

The commitment stage is a fun adventure. It should be full of exciting dates, new experiences with your partner and time spent getting to know him or her to a greater degree.

This is when a conversation about moving into some kind of boyfriend/girlfriend or higher commitment would be a great step. I would suggest that this should come from the man, but in some cases, it would work for the woman to broach the subject. It should feel like it’s happening naturally without being forced. Trusting the Holy Spirit and your gut feeling are important at this stage. This isn’t the time to become weird and possessive, it’s the time to take the relationship into deeper levels of intimacy than it has been in and allow yourselves to walk into greater vulnerability. This is when physical boundaries may need to be established between you to maintain the purity standards and core values that are in both your hearts.

This stage is when many of the harder questions should be broached such as past relationships and past sexual history. This is when both parties should have their eyes wide open in the decision making process as well as allowing forgiveness, grace and transparency to grow. This will allow the relationship to transition into the next stage naturally, which is trusting.

At any point in time during any of these stages, our hands are open and allowing the relationship to continue or discontinue. This is a beautiful journey of choice. You want someone that chooses you continually; that grows in their affection for you, and is on a journey to discover all of you. If that’s not there, you don’t want it to move into marriage. Those ingredients are essential for a happy and healthy relationship that leads into a lifetime commitment. You should not have to convince a man or woman to stay with you or commit to you. They should be choosing that in and of themselves.

Excerpt is from the book, Love Unstuck by Wendee Mannon, CEO of OnDaySix

Image courtesy of njaj at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Interview by Single Matters Magazine: Love Unstuck by Wendee Mannon

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Interview: Wendee Mannon’s New Book “Love Unstuck”

As a single woman, have you ever wondered how you can move forward in finding love? Wendee Mannon is the author of Love Unstuck: Be the Leading Lady, as well as, the owner and CEO of a Christian online dating site www.OnDaySix.com; and she has some wisdom for us on how to walk out this journey. She focuses on the importance of laying a foundation and knowing the different stages for relationships and why each one is necessary. I have no doubt you’ll be encouraged by what she has to say!

Holly Hrywnak: After growing up in the generation of “waiting” or only dating “the one,” what revelation did you have about dating and relationships?

Wendee Mannon: The overriding revelation I believe the Lord gave me is that I had the privilege to partner with Him to move toward my desire for a marriage relationship instead of just waiting around for something to happen. He was extending the invitation to me to be a part of the beautiful process and decision, which was incredibly empowering and stirred my hope level. The partnership would include prayer, belief, hope and action. It changed my whole outlook, and I believe, led me to my husband.

See the full interview by Single Matters magazine here!

To get more information about the book, Love Unstuck: Be the Leading Lady, go here!

Blessings,

The OnDaySix Team

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The Questioning Stage of a Relationship

ID-10044319Flow of Romantic Relationship: Stage 2

Questioning

Relationships flow naturally. Most romantic relationships go through somewhat similar stages that allow good foundations to be built; Crushing, Questioning, Committing, Trusting and Engagement. I used to want to skip through the first stages of a relationship straight to the commitment piece because I had fear connected to the initial stages.

I would meet a guy. I would be friends with a guy. I would start to like a guy. I would want the guy to come right away and talk to me about knowing that we should be together. I would want each party to ‘just know’ and take any of the choice or uncertainty out of the process. Not a good plan…….

2) Questioning: Make a good choice in the midst of options

As the relationship moves forward, that crush leads to a time of questioning. Last week we looked at Respecting the Crush (See previous blog). When this time of uncertainty and questioning comes, we can tend to want a commitment from the man or woman involved a little prematurely. More often, it seems the women want this, but it can go both ways. This isn’t realistic though. This period of time in a relationship usually has sporadic times of meeting up or occasional dates. From initial attraction and respecting the crush to the questioning stage, authentic invitation from the woman and pursuit from the man is of utmost importance. Both parties are questioning the relationship; there are normal levels of uncertainty combined with each person’s own core value system and way of making decisions that are in play at this stage. These are all important.

This time period of questioning can be very short if you have a man and woman who actually know what they want in a future mate. Where it gets confusing and drawn out is when one or both parties have no idea in the world what they’re looking for.

Most men trust their gut feeling when thinking about pursuing a woman. They won’t pursue a woman unless they feel good when around that woman. They won’t pursue a woman that hasn’t invited them to. That means that the authentic invitation is given often and with no expectation from the woman if there’s interest at this point in time. Relationship is a choice. Both parties have the same ability to choose the other person and this makes commitment a precious and valuable commodity.

In the questioning stage, it is important for the man to pursue in response to the authentic invitation and if he is interested, even with questions still in play, multiple meet ups or dates are important in this time period. This will help answer the questions and both parties will be able to make the decision if they would like to continue to see where this relationship may go.

This stage of questioning cannot be rushed. Many want to sit down and define a relationship before a good decision for commitment can be made. Women need to understand this period of time and actually enjoy it. Men shouldn’t have a conversation about commitment too prematurely without walking through this questioning stage, as many times, this will lead to pressure that can short circuit the relationship. We must see the value in the question and trust that God’s leading us to the right answer.

Men, it’s important to have a defining the relationship talk at the correct time, which is not in the questioning stage. I know Christian men feel a lot of pressure to make their intentions known very soon, sometimes too soon, which, in turn leads to big messes later when the woman finds them backing out of the relationship quickly because they weren’t ready to make that type of commitment.

This second stage can be tricky to navigate, but it can be done well and in maturity. Women can tend to want to be assured that a man is committed to them from almost the moment they meet. This is not how we as humans are built. We’re built to make choices and decisions in process based on what we desire and taking into account lots of different aspects in a relationship before making a commitment. This is a good thing. A good choice is made in the midst of options. This sounds scary to some, but we need to be able to navigate this as we journey through dating and into a committed relationship. Women who feel valuable are able to navigate this stage with grace and openness. Men who are confidant and understand that a relationship naturally takes it course will be able to navigate this well. If the relationship is good, it will move forward naturally and both parties will feel good about the process. If there is lack of value personally, usually one or the other will run away from the relationship because it feels too scary to navigate. There’s a healthy way to discontinue a dating relationship that doesn’t involve running.

Taking the pressure off of both parties during this stage is important and allows both the man and woman’s mind and heart navigate the questions to a good conclusion. Both parties should look at the relationship and know that they’ll be ok if this does not lead to a commitment; it’s part of the process and healthy. This is a fine line that requires maturity and counsel to walk out well. Make sure you have both as you embark into this stage.

This is the stage where you’re both getting to know each other from surface level to going deeper into core values for life. This should happen over a period of time and at least a few dates. Go with your feeling. If you like what you’re discovering about each other, continue on. Make sure the dates are both fun and leave room for conversation. Let the man pay in this stage on dates and initiate them, and the women should be very open and inviting if the interest is growing. Authentic invitation and pursuit are so imperative in this stage if your interest continues to grow. The next stage of relationship is Committing which we will address next week.

Excerpt from the book Love Unstuck; Be the Leading Lady by Wendee Mannon, CEO of OnDaySix.com

To find out more or get a copy of Love Unstuck; Be the Leading Lady, Go HERE!

Image courtesy of Ambro at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Respecting the Crush

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Flow of Romantic Relationship: Stage 1

Crushing

Relationships flow naturally. Most romantic relationships go through somewhat similar stages that allow good foundations to be built. I used to want to skip through the first stages of a relationship straight to the commitment piece because I had fear connected to the initial stages.

I would meet a guy. I would be friends with a guy. I would start to like a guy. I would want the guy to come right away and talk to me about knowing that we should be together. I would want each party to ‘just know’ and take any of the choice or uncertainty out of the process. Not a good plan.

Crushing: Respect the Crush

Everyone loves that feeling, the feeling of a crush. You are excited, nervous and looking forward to seeing that person of interest. He or she makes you laugh and makes you feel all sorts of feelings that others don’t seem to have the ability to. Initially, relationships begin because two people are drawn to each other through physical, emotional and spiritual attraction. Interest in someone isn’t forced, it should come naturally.

So, you have a crush? If you’ve been lining up your value and beliefs with what God says about you, the people you are attracted to may actually be different than who you’ve previously had crushes on. This is a good thing. We will attract what we believe we deserve.

If you’re still attracted to someone that treats you poorly, I’d go back and get with God to ask Him what He says about you, your worth and how you should be treated. Continue to declare the truth of your value over yourself. This creates new pathways of thinking; scripture teaches we are transformed by the renewing of our minds,

If these beliefs and values are in order, though and you find a high quality-marriage person that you’re interested in, I say ‘respect the crush.’

Respecting the crush means definitely using the skills gained in the chapter on authentic invitation and pursuit. These are incredibly important during this stage and will allow the relationship to move forward. Keep you eyes wide open during this stage of the relationship as well to see if the values you hold stand true with this person as well.

Enjoy this time and don’t try to rush it. Most women want to skip straight to the commitment stage, but that isn’t how we’re built. We’re built to enjoy relationship and let it grow just like a flower blossoming.

Excerpt is from the book ‘Love Unstuck’ by Wendee Mannon

Image courtesy of patrisyu at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

 

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Love Unstuck: Be the Leading Lady

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“I know Wendee to be a woman who can speak to the issues and the character of a woman’s heart clearly and convincingly. I highly recommend Love Unstuck to any woman seeking to have a life long, quality relationship with her future spouse.”

–Danny Silk, President of Loving on Purpose and Author of Keep Your Love On

Love Unstuck is a practical and powerful look into healthy relationships. Wendee shares her own struggles and victories in her journey. Her story and insights will inspire you to great beliefs and great actions concerning relationships with men. I believe this book will increase the likelihood of good things happening in this important area of life.”

–Steve Backlund, Founder of Igniting Hope Ministries and Author of Igniting Faith in 40 Days

LOVE UNSTUCK: Be the Leading Lady

When we boil it down, life is really all about our relationship with God. We cannot be satisfied outside of Him. Not even a spouse can fill that God-shaped hole in us. From Him we get the love and acceptance we need because He is the lover of our soul. Out of Him, love and marriage and desire were created. Union – oneness – was His idea. Since desire comes from the Father, the longings that we have, find their origins in Him. Consequently, it’s His heart that longs for us to know and experience the kind of union that exists between Christ and His church, which we find mirrored in marriage.

Do you have a desire for marriage and a desire for partnership with a Godly man to spend your life with? I believe if you have that desire, God placed it there for a reason. He wants to fulfill that desire.

This book is designed for women who desire Godly partnership in marriage and want to move forward in that; it may be helpful for those who may feel like they are a little stuck or like they need a jump-start into love.

My intention is  to help you move forward with God towards your desire for marriage. God’s timing is perfect, but sometimes He’s waiting for us to take a step towards our desires so He can partner with us in the journey. His love is catalytic. It propels us into our dreams and desires.

This isn’t about a 12 step plan or finding love in 60 days; it’s about aligning our hearts and beliefs with what God has for us and taking steps towards that with Him. It’s about being authentically you and living from that place which will then, in turn, attract an authentic, marriage minded man.

This book is compiled with insights, thoughts and practical steps that I learned in my 33 years of singleness. This process led me to the man of my dreams and the love of my life. My passion is to share this journey with like minded women who desire what I did – a fulfilling marriage to a Godly man.

I am often asked by single, marriage-minded women how they can move forward in finding love. I wrote this guide as a response to that question to help them walk that road. Through navigating that journey personally to now owning an online Christian Dating site (www.OnDaySix.com) for Kingdom minded singles and offering personal relationship coaching for men and women of all ages, I feel the Lord has given me both the passion, breakthrough and assignment to help men and women connect into Godly marriages across the globe.

God is breathing on the area of singleness in the Church. He is releasing His heart and strategy for multitudes to enter healthy and happy marriages because this union is a display to the world of Christ’s catalytic love for the Church.  You are an empowered woman in this process and this is the time to fully realize and live from that place.

Here’s 7 things to remember as you read this book and navigate the romantic relationship and dating journey:

1. It is a journey.

Once in awhile you meet someone that married the first person they dated. I’ve only met one guy that this happened to. For whatever reason, for most, this process is a journey of self-discovery, partnering with God all while opening your heart to love from a place of being loved by God. It takes faith, patience, perseverance and divine guidance to make such a huge choice.

2. Don’t force it to happen.

I’ve seen a few relationships that people made happen and had to keep making happen. The journey of dating and choosing a spouse should be done with the understanding that God is big enough to ‘hook’ you up. You get to partner with Him and move forward. We saw in the Bible what happened when Abraham decided to make something happen. Ishmael’s can add more problems than we were meant to deal with in relationship. You have an excellent ‘gut feeling’ because the Holy Spirit resides inside of you and guides you. Go with your peace.

3. Resting in God during the process is your best choice.

When I trust, He succeeds.” Corrie Ten Boom

I love this quote. It states the gift that Christ gave us and our mindset as He purposed for Christians. He asks us to trust Him with our everything, all of the time. We get to walk forward in faith and allow Him to be in charge of the final result. That doesn’t mean we sit around and do nothing. God can’t steer a parked car. We get to focus our thoughts and intentions on His good plans for us as we take risks and move forward in and towards love; truly a beautiful process. He then is the one that brings the fulfillment of our desires as we move forward with Him.

4. Surround yourself with encouraging comrades.

Dating and romantic relationships can have ups and downs. Navigating yourself towards a relationship will present opportunities to get advice and bounce situations off friends as well as share the joys and challenges of love. Surround yourself with Godly, like-minded individuals that help keep your focus on God’s goodness and remind you how amazing you are.

5. Dating is not a flippant activity.

Dating can have a connotation of being ‘bad’ in the Christian world. The actual definition of dating from the dictionary is: a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. While the term has several meanings, it usually refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity in public, together, as a couple. Dating is for mature people looking for a spouse, and that will be the way the term is used within context in this book.

6. You are fully complete as a single woman.

You are lacking nothing as a single woman in God. You’re fully complete. A husband is not your destiny nor does a husband make you complete. You are already complete in God. You can live a fulfilling and happy life before marriage.

7. Remember: You are amazing!

Keep this at the forefront of your mind. You are incredible. Enjoy the journey. You are the leading woman in your own love story accompanied by a God who loves you more than you could imagine.

–Wendee Mannon, CEO/Owner of OnDaySix.com and Author of Love Unstuck

TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF LOVE UNSTUCK, it is available here on Amazon for both print and ebook options.

 

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Get More Activity on Your Profile-5 Quick Tips

Activity

Want more activity on your OnDaySix profile? Well, who doesn’t want more activity really?…If you’re on the site, we assume you’re looking to connect with other Kingdom Minded Singles in the hopes of a significant romantic relationship that hopefully leads to marriage. (If this isn’t you, you can easily delete your own profile on your account page on the bottom right with the delete button.)

Here’s 5 quick tips to get more activity:

1) A Clear Profile Picture

Out of our thousands of members, we see many great profile photos. Guaranteed, these get more activity. Do you look at a profile that you can’t decipher the picture or worse, there’s a big question mark in the place where their face should be?? NO. We do see many question marks in the place of where your faces should be. Take a moment to upload a nice photo of yourself and see the activity on your profile increase. 99.9999% of people will not look at a profile that has no profile picture.

Note: To set your profile picture (avatar), there is a box that you get to arrange in the spot that you want on your picture to show the area that you’d like to highlight. Many people forget to utilize this feature and part of their faces are cut off or not seen. Check to make sure you’ve highlighted the part of your profile picture you want to show to other members searching the site. Using pictures that are less than 1MB will make the process quicker and easier and lo-res pictures show up clear on our site.

2) A Completed Profile

This seems self explanatory, but many people leave large portions of the information on their profile blank. People that are seriously utilizing the site are looking for complete information. Taking the time to fill this out will show other members that you’re serious about meeting a quality person. Not filling this out will show other members…well, you can guess what is projects out.

3) Short & Sweet Wins the Prize

Many times when someone clicks on your profile and they see a novel to read at first glance, they move onto the next. It can feel overwhelming to read so much information when the job of a profile is to give a quick snapshot of who you are.  Keep it short, sweet and make sure that your personality shines through. If you’re funny, sarcastic, thoughtful, quirky, or any other number of adjectives that describe YOU, make sure that’s shining through when people read your profile. Leave out detailed information about your past, a quick snapshot will spark interest and conversations should be had at a later date with all the details.

4) Send Out Friendly Winks or Emails

Many people sit back and wait for someone to contact them. This is the exact opposite of partnership with God to move forward. Take time and make finding someone a priority in your life. Send out friendly winks or emails, or if you’d like, we have guided communication through questions that you can utilize. Have PATIENCE and be PERSISTENT. Anything worth having and keeping in life takes both of these traits.

5) Get On Your Profile Regularly

Either something is a priority in your life or it’s not. Take time to be on the site regularly. Many new members sign up daily, so it’s always good to keep active and check your age range of members globally. We have members from all over the world, and we know from personal experience that distance is not an obstacle to God.

We hope you meet someone amazing!

Blessings,

The OnDaySix Team

Image courtesy of surasakiStock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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