Respecting the Crush


Flow of Romantic Relationship: Stage 1


Relationships flow naturally. Most romantic relationships go through somewhat similar stages that allow good foundations to be built. I used to want to skip through the first stages of a relationship straight to the commitment piece because I had fear connected to the initial stages.

I would meet a guy. I would be friends with a guy. I would start to like a guy. I would want the guy to come right away and talk to me about knowing that we should be together. I would want each party to ‘just know’ and take any of the choice or uncertainty out of the process. Not a good plan.

Crushing: Respect the Crush

Everyone loves that feeling, the feeling of a crush. You are excited, nervous and looking forward to seeing that person of interest. He or she makes you laugh and makes you feel all sorts of feelings that others don’t seem to have the ability to. Initially, relationships begin because two people are drawn to each other through physical, emotional and spiritual attraction. Interest in someone isn’t forced, it should come naturally.

So, you have a crush? If you’ve been lining up your value and beliefs with what God says about you, the people you are attracted to may actually be different than who you’ve previously had crushes on. This is a good thing. We will attract what we believe we deserve.

If you’re still attracted to someone that treats you poorly, I’d go back and get with God to ask Him what He says about you, your worth and how you should be treated. Continue to declare the truth of your value over yourself. This creates new pathways of thinking; scripture teaches we are transformed by the renewing of our minds,

If these beliefs and values are in order, though and you find a high quality-marriage person that you’re interested in, I say ‘respect the crush.’

Respecting the crush means definitely using the skills gained in the chapter on authentic invitation and pursuit. These are incredibly important during this stage and will allow the relationship to move forward. Keep you eyes wide open during this stage of the relationship as well to see if the values you hold stand true with this person as well.

Enjoy this time and don’t try to rush it. Most women want to skip straight to the commitment stage, but that isn’t how we’re built. We’re built to enjoy relationship and let it grow just like a flower blossoming.

Excerpt is from the book ‘Love Unstuck’ by Wendee Mannon

Image courtesy of patrisyu at


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